


fond touches and fonder hearts

by sapphiim



Category: Sword Art Online (Anime & Manga), ソードアート・オンライン - 川原礫 | Sword Art Online - Kawahara Reki
Genre: Domestic, Fluff, M/M, also the rating is merely bcs kirito swears like.......... twice., becasue that mini arc was PEAK domestic yujikiri, i.... guess??, kirito is SMITTEN he's a dumbass and i adore him, they're at the sword mastery academy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-17
Updated: 2020-10-17
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:34:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27062743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sapphiim/pseuds/sapphiim
Summary: "Kirito hadn’t noticed it at first, and maybe he should have, probably should have, but Eugeo somehow managed to soften his senses, to make him (unconsciously, even) relax and justexist.And when it hit him it stole all of the air inside of his lungs unpromptedly and so suddenly that it left him gasping for breath, drowning in a sea of purefondness."or: i am in love with Eugeo and i project all of that and then some onto Kirito.
Relationships: Eugeo/Kirigaya Kazuto | Kirito
Comments: 8
Kudos: 88





	fond touches and fonder hearts

**Author's Note:**

> hello! thank you for taking the time to read this.
> 
> as usual, if there are any typos or inconsistencies regarding tense, i'm sorry. 
> 
> also while writing this i kept thinking "is this too gay and ooc?". but then my friend reminded me of the lycoris bed scenes and i was like "no, this could be gayer."
> 
> have fun reading!

Eugeo was… incredulously warm, Kirito would say, but even that felt like an understatement. This wasn’t in correlation to his body heat (even though he somehow seemed to also manage to run hotter than others, at least according to what Kirito has learned in all the time he’s known him), but Eugeo’s entire _being_ seemed to radiate a kindness that planted seeds of the sun itself (of _Solus_ , a voice in Kirito’s mind that sounded oddly like his fellow swordsman reprimanded him) into your heart and let its vines cares your sorrows away. He simply _was_ warm, from his hair that seemed nearly golden when the sun softly painted rays of sunset on him that spread like watercolour, to his eyes that seemed to shift from hue to hue, greens that were reminiscent of emeralds swirled into sea green and then kaleidoscoped into tints of blue, from the azure of the sky to the one of sparkling ice, and it fascinated Kirito to no end how they seemed to switch from one shade to another depending on the light, and how they would always, _always_ , even when the thorns of anger and shame seemed to pierce Eugeo’s heart, they would never fail to hold that same vividness that blinded Kirito and the world around him. And somehow, _somehow_ , he managed to make even the _blue_ of his clothes look warm, and that did not make even an ounce of sense to Kirito because blue was a _cold_ colour, you learn that in _kindergarten_. 

But, he thinks, Eugeo has always been an anomaly of sorts. He immediately slotted himself in Kirito's heart and left his mark, let his presence wrap Kirito in soft ribbons of comfort and drag out a childish side of him that he hadn't let resurface in a long time. He made Kirito feel _at home_ in an unknown world, a beacon of light in a landscape of fog and mystery, he was someone Kirito had taught, what he, in a moment of panic, had dubbed the _Aincrad style_ , they had clashed swords over and over again and each _thwack_ of wood on wood would surge adrenaline through his veins until the fire inside threatened to consume him and yet he had _fun_.

The seed that took root in Kirito’s heart seemed to slowly, gently, bloom into something… a little bit different, something that was edging on dangerous territory due to the nature of this world. Kirito hadn’t noticed it at first, and maybe he should have, probably should have, but Eugeo somehow managed to soften his senses, to make him (unconsciously, even) relax and just _exist_. He paid no mind to the petals of affection that gently swayed against his heart, nor the soft flapping of butterfly wings that took residence in his chest whenever Eugeo flashed that smile of his that stole all the light in the room. He basked in the presence of his partner next to him, and let the warm breeze of contentedness envelop him.

And when it hit him it stole all of the air inside of his lungs unpromptedly and so suddenly that it left him gasping for breath, drowning in a sea of pure _fondness_.

It was a day of rest, about a month or so after they had gotten accepted into the Sword Mastery Academy, and Kirito had planned to do absolutely nothing, because that was what he was _supposed_ to do, but, to his misfortune, Eugeo had other plans, that did _not_ include sleeping the day away.

“Kirito.”

His partner was met with silence, because maybe, just _maybe_ , he would take pity on Kirito and let him sleep a little bit more if he didn't respond.

“ _Kirito._ ” Ah, already bringing out the stern tone. So that was a _no_ on the sleeping in.

“Wake _up_.”

Kirito felt a shadow loom over him and when he opened up his eyes he was met, obviously, with Eugeo, who was glaring at him and leaning over the open space at the head of the bed. He was blocking out the sun ( _Solus, Kirito, So-lus_ ) coming out through the window, and Kirito was thankful that he was, because that meant _not_ getting immediately blinded first thing in the morning (afternoon? He wasn't sure what time it was, but, knowing Eugeo, it was most likely early in the morning; _far_ too early, he'd say). Kirito contemplated if he could talk his way out of whatever the blonde had in mind. Low chance, for as much as Kirito was stubborn, Eugeo always seemed to have _some_ way to counterargument it. Not that he _actually_ minded it, spending time with Eugeo was always fun, and if Kirito had been slightly more awake he might have pondered when he had become so comfortable around the other.

Having seen Kirito show signs of consciousness, his fellow swordsman's glare softened and he let out a sigh, which indicated that _most_ of his irritation towards Kirito had dissipated. “Really, I don’t know how you can sleep so much,” he said, and by now his tone had gone back to his usual not-annoyed-by-Kirito’s-shenanigans one. “But, good morning nonetheless.”

Eugeo then smiled, and Kirito would like to take back his previous statement about _not_ being blinded first thing in the morning because that was exactly what was happening right now. Eugeo was _radiating_ , and looked… slightly ethereal, with the sun ( _Solus_ , he could hear a voice insist) behind him. The light was cascading around his edges softly and casting all other matter around him in shadow. The _slightly_ warm light of the sun ( _Solus's_ light, he could hear Eugeo correct him for the nth time, because _truly, Kirito, I know you lost your memories, but how could you forget the Four Goddesses_ ) snaked itself around him, passed through his hair and left whispers of gold in it, refracted on the translucency of his skin and _glowed_ , bathing everything in the vicinity in soft touches of orange and red, all except for his eyes, his eyes that always seemed like a swirl of viridian and azure, his eyes that now resembled the deepest and most vibrant turquoise Kirito had ever seen, his eyes that were looking at _him_ with what one, maybe in a moment of foolish hopelessness, might have called _affection_ , and it tugged at _something_ in Kirito, left him stunned for the world to see bare.

That’s when he felt it. 

Petals of pure fondness wrapping around his heart, cradling it like a precious thing, velvet touches that left his soul shuddering in the aftershocks of smouldering adoration.

_Oh_.

_Hm._

_Interesting._

Kirito had apparently been staring at him like an awestruck idiot (because, really, that's what he was) for a little _too_ long, because Eugeo's smile faded, disappearing like Solus ( _ah, finally got it right_ ) behind plumes of white clouds, and a frown took its place. He straightened up and for a moment Kirito thought, foolishly, that maybe Eugeo had heard the way his heart had somersaulted in his chest and landed straight into his stomach.

"Is something wrong?" he asked, tilting his head to the side ( _much like a puppy_ , Kirito's mind added unprompted), and Kirito wanted to _laugh_ , because of course, _of course_ , Eugeo's first instinct would be to worry. But laughing would have been rude, and so instead he sat up and turned around to give his partner a bright smile that he didn't think he could've contained even if he wanted to. 

"Nope, everything's alright! Good morning!"

Eugeo must have been taken aback by the sudden change in mood (and really, Kirito couldn't blame him), because he pulled even further back, looking back at Kirito with an expression found somewhere between bewilderment and… embarrassment? Perhaps not the exact word for it, but there was a soft, nearly invisible blush high on Eugeo's cheeks (that Kirito found extremely endearing) when he blinked twice, thrice at Kirito (and his eyes had dimmed down in intensity and vibrancy, back to their usual green-ish sea glass hue, but still able to pull all the attention in the room onto him nonetheless).

He regarded him for a little while longer, seemingly still in a state of shock, and then let out another sigh (those seemed to be a common occurrence by now).

“Well then. Since you’re awake now,” he said before he cast a glance out the window, “You should get ready. We have a few things to do out in town,” he finished before looking back at Kirito and giving another small smile as Kirito’s heart constricted a little _too hard_ once again.

After that realization, Kirito… hadn't really really done anything. He mostly ignored the tremors his heart echoed throughout his chest, because the alternative would have been ignoring Eugeo, and he couldn’t possibly have done that, because for one he _really_ didn’t want to, and to his fortune (or misfortune, he wasn’t really sure), Eugeo knew him better than anyone, or at least anyone in this world, and would have been able to tell immediately that Kirito was ignoring him. He could not act out on these _feelings_ of his, not that he hadn’t thought about it, the idea sometimes sounded _very_ appealing, but the laws of this world would not permit it and they had _far_ more important things to do.

So, for now, he just indulged in whatever physical affection he could get from Eugeo _without_ breaking the Taboo Index, thankful to whatever Goddesses were out there that Eugeo did not question _why_ Kirito took every opportunity to get as close to him as he could.

Kirito climbed down from the window and into the living space he and Eugeo shared at the Academy (as newly appointed elite swordsman-in-training) for the second time that day (the first time had been a mere hour or so ago, when he was late, _once again_ he could see Eugeo tell him through his glare, to dismissing his valet, and Eugeo had berated him without missing a beat about _keeping poor Ronye waiting, would it hurt you to try and be on time for once?_ ; after the two girls were quickly dismissed, Kirito informed the blonde that he had _one_ more thing to pick up from the town, disappearing as quickly as he appeared, leaving behind a stunned Eugeo) and was met with quite the usual sight: Eugeo was sitting on their couch, back towards the window, engrossed in whatever book he had picked out for the evening. He looked relaxed and absolutely absorbed by whatever the text in his hands was saying, basked in Solus' evening light that shone through the window, seemingly not noticing Kirito's presence now in the room, or at least not giving any sign of it. Kirito _gently_ placed the brown paper bag onto the windowsill, tiptoeing towards the back of the couch. There was a high possibility Eugeo _hadn't_ noticed him yet, which meant a high possibility he could surprise him.

Once he was behind Eugeo, he threw his hands around the other's neck and chest, resting his head on his shoulder.

Eugeo simply blinked.

"You _do_ know we have a door, right?"

_Ah, no luck._

"How long have you known I was here?" he said, choosing to ignore the jab at him coming through the window again.

"Since you stepped into the room," Eugeo replied, before turning the page, picking up the bookmark that rested on the arm of the couch and placing it inside. He then turned his head towards Kirito. "Welcome back."

Eugeo was _close_ , close enough that Kirito could feel the breaths that left his nose gently touching his cheeks, which was a scenario he had _not_ thought of. He felt completely exposed, with Eugeo's warmth physically radiating off of him, crawling under his own skin and setting it ablaze, a small blush blooming onto his features, Eugeo's distinctive aroma of roses and vanilla (that Kirito could _not_ , for the life of him, explain where it came from; Eugeo didn't use any perfumes, not to his knowledge at least, and it was starting to irritate Kirito, because he felt like one of the heroines of a bad and cliché romance novel), Eugeo's eyes that, in the truest sense of the word, sparkled a light and warm forest green and were so _close_ and so _kind_ and looking at Kirito with a relaxed happiness that might just envelop his very being and consume him whole, because he could not, even if his life were to depend on it, look away from them, Eugeo's smile that danced across his features, pulled at the corners of his lips and eyes, carved smile lines into his skin and made him _light up_ brighter than Solus or any star that the night sky could offer. His presence was _so very close_ and Kirito was _staring_ , he was aware of it, but how could he _not_ when Eugeo was mere millimetres (and Kirito knew somewhere in his subconsciousness that there was an equivalent term in the Underworld for it but he could _not_ remember it right now) away. He felt the flapping of butterfly wings ramming against his ribcage and climbing up his throat, threatening to burst through his chest and reveal themselves for all to see, so he did what he knew best.

He ignored it and looked away.

"Uh," he said, intelligently, looking around for _something_ to change the subject, because his feelings were bubbling up, on the verge of spilling over and leaving a mess everywhere. His eyes landed on the book. Good enough. "What are you reading?"

Eugeo turned his head away, for which Kirito was _mostly_ thankful, because while he wasn’t staring directly _at_ him anymore, now Kirito was faced with side profile, which was _equally_ stunning, with his soft hair that curled at the ends now in the forefront of Kirito's vision, and his eyes, ever the centre of Kirito's attention, like the Sun to the planets, like the Earth to the moon, and this was _not_ fair on him, he was starting to feel more and more like a lovestruck damsel. Eugeo looked back towards the book in his lap and tilted the cover so Kirito could read over his shoulder (he supposed that in _technicality_ he _could’ve_ moved, but if Kirito was being honest with himself, the chances of being successful in that manoeuvre would be pretty low). The title read, in silver lettering and cursive font across a hardcover of deep blue, _The Journey for the Stars_.

Kirito tilted his head outwards, an indication for Eugeo to continue, but all the other did was tilt his head the opposite direction and look at him.

”Will you at least sit down? It’s unsightly.” 

Kirito sighed, rather _dramatically_ , and pulled away, or, more accurately said, extracted himself from Eugeo, leaning back to grab the paper bag that still rested on the windowsill, before jumping _over_ the couch, which Eugeo did _not_ appreciate, going by the scowl that he quickly threw Kirito’s way. He simply grinned, presenting the bag to Eugeo, who, after realising what it contained, gestured for Kirito to place it onto the table, which he did, before opening up his book again. Kirito scooted closer, maybe a bit _too_ close, seeing as his head was once again on Eugeo’s shoulder.

“It’s a book about… It's a fairy tale, I suppose,” he said, letting out a breathy self-deprecating laugh, which did not sit well _at all_ with Kirito, who thought that Eugeo's interest in history books and fairy tales was ever-so-endearing, but Eugeo began to speak again before he could even _begin_ to assure him that there was nothing wrong with liking fairy tales. “The main character is the prince of a fantastical dimension, who has a friend that’s…” he stopped, searching for the word in his mind. “He’s a... commoner, to put it simply. Close to the beginning of the story, the friend gets chronically ill, and no doctor that the prince hires is able to heal him. Distressed, the prince goes out in search of these… relics, they’re stars more than anything, really, to make a mythical antidote that is said to be able to cure any illness or disease.” 

He then stopped, an embarrassed blush barely visible on his cheeks, and a pained smile taking form on his lips. “It’s childish, isn’t it?”

_Oh, Kirito would be having none of that._

Eugeo was _incredibly_ smart. His understanding of Sacred Arts far outmatched Kirito's, _hell_ , often times Eugeo took time out of his day to _help_ Kirito with his homework. He had read most, if not all, of the books in the Academy's library, and _then_ some from the town's library. Not once has Kirito known him to be anything _but_ studious and serious, so when he found out about his affinity to fairy tales, he was amused. Not because he thought they were childish, but for _him_ , who could recall paragraphs upon paragraphs of history, botany, physics and who know what else, to be able to enjoy something so _simple_ , it was a surprising contrast.

Kirito would _not_ let him feel bad about it.

“ _No,_ ” he said, sharply, an ounce of anger towards whoever made Eugeo feel so ashamed of everything he was (and Kirito had a pretty good idea who was at fault) slipping into his tone.

Eugeo startled underneath him, the motion causing Kirito's head to nearly fall off of the other's shoulder.

_Ah_ , he might have said that with a bit _too_ much force. Eugeo blinked twice and then looked back at him, actual surprise painted onto his features. _Ah, backtrack, that was too intense._

“I mean…”

_Gather your words Kazuto._

“I mean. No, I don’t think it’s childish.”

A pause.

Eugeo continued to look (better-said _stare_ ) at him, shock, bit by bit, bleeding into confusion. 

Kirito had to change the topic _qui_ ckly, before his unexpected outburst made things even more awkward.

“Ah, so. Do you know how it ends?”

As though woken up from a daze, Eugeo blinked rapidly a few times, before returning his gaze to the book and a small, warm smile rose to his lips. Kirito wondered if there ever would be a day when Eugeo’s smiles _wouldn’t_ make his breath shake violently against his lungs. Most likely not.

“Yes, actually. I read it once when I was younger,” he said, and stood quiet for a beat or two, dark memories resurfacing behind his eyes, clouding them over, before being just as quickly dismissed. “After the prince gathers all the relics and brews the antidote, he returns home to his friend. Thing is, during his journey the prince _also_ fell ill, and when he arrives to give the antidote to his friend, he refuses, insisting that the prince keep it for himself. They pass away together, not being able to agree with one another since they didn't want the other to die.” he finished, and took a breath. “It’s a rather sad ending, a bit anticlimactic. You read about the prince risking his life over and over again just so his friend can be well, and in the end, they both die," he continued, and actually let out a small scoff, clearly annoyed with the ending. Kirito supposed he could agree with the sentiment. It would be rather disappointing to read about this great adventure, only for it to be for nought in the end. "I think the original moral of the story was that you shouldn’t abandon your duties, because sometimes it just isn’t worth it.” Kirito frowned at that. “But, I think I like it to interpret it more as, no matter what, your loved ones will always be accompanying you, even in death."

Whenever Eugeo talked about books, he would get this _look_ in his eyes, a look that Kirito could only describe as being full of life. He looked so carefree and happy, able to actually _talk_ about what he liked, his entire face morphing into a state of gentle and relaxed giddiness. He had a similar look right now, child-like glee shimmering in his eyes (now more of a quiet green-turquoise).

“So. At what part are you now?” Kirito asked, leaning over to the table to pick up two honey-pies from the bag, before leaning back towards the couch and moving impossibly closer to Eugeo, if that was somehow even possible, handing him one of the pies, which he took happily. They were, in the most literal sense, pressed up together, thigh to thigh, arm to arm, his head on the blonde’s shoulder, but Eugeo did not seem to question the lack of personal space, even though Kirito was close enough that if he shifted a little bit more to the left he could very well be sitting in his lap and that was… _hm_.

That was a thought. One that Kirito would _not_ pay any more mind than he already had, because he risked giving away the thoughts that his treacherous mind was coming up with. 

Instead, he tuned in to whatever the man next to him was saying, listening to the lilt of his voice (which Kirito failed to mention just how _nice_ Eugeo’s voice was), basking in the warmth of his body and the sweet taste of the honey-pies.

On some nights, Kirito’s thoughts were louder than usual, echoing around in his head until his brain rung like a church’s bell struck when the service began, reverberating around his skull. On nights like these, all he could do was stay awake and pray that these thoughts would quiet. The thoughts of those back home, of whether he and Eugeo could do this, could save this _Alice_ , of whether or not he would be able to bring Eugeo back with him to the real world, even if he was connected to a camera much like the one he built for Yui, because Kirito couldn’t think of just _leaving_ him, doesn’t think he could stomach living without him in the vicinity, not after the two years they’ve spent together. They all bounced around in his head until it left him with the signs of an upcoming headache.

On this _particular_ night, he was looking out towards the rest of Centoria from the window in their living room, letting the cold breeze of the Norlangath Empire wash over him and numb his senses, letting the moon ( _Lunaria_ , he could hear a certain someone say, _she might not have appeared in the myth of creation that much but she is still one of the Goddesses, Kirito_ ) and the stars bathe him in white light.

A door opened, then closed.

Kirito didn’t need to look back to know who it was, there was only one other person living with him, but the curious thing was _why_ he was awake.

“Kirito?” a familiar voice called out.

_Ah, there he was._

“Yeah?” he called back, tilting his head towards the direction of the voice. 

Slow footsteps.

Eugeo entered Kirito's peripheral and placed himself next to him, leaning forward on the windowsill with his elbows, head resting in one hand. He looked, well, _tired_. That was expected though, he must’ve just woken up. Sleep still clung to the edges of his features, _especially_ his eyes, softening their edges, his eyelids half-closed, eyelashes casting shadows over his cheeks in the pale moonlight, (yes, okay, Kirito _might_ have a problem with his eyes; they were captivating though, so could you really blame him?), his flaxen hair tousled, usual soft curls unruly and going every which way ( _how_ does one still look good with bed hair? Kirito called bullshit), still in his sleep clothes (which, much like Kirito’s, consisted of a simple grey t-shirt and black pants). 

“What are you doing up at this hour?”

Even his voice was riddled with traces of exhaustion, half an octave or so lower than its usual tone. 

“Nevermind me, what are _you_ doing up?” Kirito responded, because it was not like Eugeo to be awake in the middle of the night. He had a proper sleep-schedule, or, well, he had a proper schedule for _everything_. So this was somewhat unexpected. Kirito was worried that, perhaps, he had accidentally woken him up. 

The glare directed at him was, though heavy with fatigue, still pretty telling that Eugeo was not going to leave until he made sure Kirito also got to bed.

“Answer the question first, Kirito.”

A stern tone. For as much as he personally was a stubborn man, and he _was_ , Eugeo had made sure to tell him at every occasion, the other was perfectly able to match him in terms of stubbornness, especially when it came to those he held closely. Kirito knew he would _not_ be winning this one.

An exhausted sigh made its way past his lips.

“I just… couldn’t sleep.”

He supposed it _was_ the cause of why he was awake. Eugeo didn’t need to worry himself with whatever Kirito’s mind decided to throw at him tonight.

His partner turned his head towards Kirito and considered his answer, whether or not he was truthful. Seeming satisfied with it, he turned his gaze back towards the sky and the thousands, maybe even millions, of stars that shone across it.

“Was Lunaria giving you bad dreams?”

_...what?_

His confusion was, apparently, _very_ evident, and Eugeo was, as usual, unimpressed with him (apparently he’d never be tired enough to send glares and scowls his way).

“Lunaria is the Goddess of the Moon, the one who controls our dreams.”

_Oh, right._

“No, it wasn’t about dreams. I’ve just…” he paused, contemplating, chin turned upward, towards the sky. Could he really tell Eugeo what was bothering him? Yes, he trusted Eugeo, he would trust him with his life and beyond, but _this_ was different. This had to do with the outside world, of which Eugeo did _not_ know, seeing as he still believed Kirito was an amnesiac.

And yet _still_ , he travelled all the way to Centoria with Kirito even _if_ he didn’t know anything. Looking now at Eugeo, in the silver light of the dark night, he could see him watching Kirito in the corner of his eye, concern pulling at his features.

_Oh._

Of course, Eugeo would be concerned over him. Kirito should’ve known this. He _did_ , in a way. But still, the thought pulled at his heart, made his veins feel like they were filled with fire alone, made his hands feel like jello. 

_Ah, he could… omit some details, couldn’t he?_

“I’ve been having some thoughts.”

A beat of silence.

“Thoughts?”

Kirito leaned back, slowly raising his arms over his head, hands clasped together, stretching them out, before bending them at the elbows, rolling his shoulders once, lowering his arms, letting them rest limply at his side. The vertebras of his spine and his back-ribs cracked one by one, moving like a tide coming to the shore, leaving him feeling boneless and ready to collapse. He _really_ didn’t want to explain to Eugeo his circumstances. He felt _horrible_ for lying, every time he would slip up and talk about something from before their meeting Eugeo would always, without fail, ask him if he was starting to remember, and he would have to lie once again. He saw him worry, saw him do research, far deeper into the night than he probably should, about a way to bring Kirito’s memories back. It hurt to hide the truth from him, but he couldn’t reveal it. Not yet. They had a mission, a goal. 

“I… don’t really wanna _talk_ about it.”

Eugeo looked at him. His eyes studied him, but with no trace of judgement, simply took in his figure. They were full of confusion, that much was evident. Eugeo _wanted_ to understand what it was that kept him awake, wanted to understand and help, because he thought he _owed_ Kirito for these two years, but more importantly, because he _cared_ , vehemently, and the gesture itself left Kirito winded with affection.

“That’s fine.”

Of _course_ it would be.

Another beat of silence.

“Do you want me to keep you company?”

_Did he?_

Well, the immediate answer was, evidently, _yes_. He would never say no to Eugeo’s company. In truth, did he even have to _think_ about it? But then…

“Shouldn’t you go back to sleep?”

The deadpanned glare Eugeo gave him conveyed a clear message: _Are you an actual idiot?_

“What?” he said, defensively.

“ _You_ ,” he started, and _ah,_ Kirito knew that tone well, he was in for a lecture if he wasn’t careful, “want _me_ to just head back to sleep when I know _very well_ that you aren’t able to sleep?”

“Okay, well when you put it like _that_ …”

Next to him, Eugeo let out a sound halfway between a groan and an exasperated sigh, dragging his hand over his face, murmuring something that sounded remarkably close to _For the love of Stacia_ , before looking at him again through his fingers.

“How _else_ would you put it?”

“I don’t know!”

Another dirty-look. This one told him to _keep his voice down_.

“Well, do you want me to?”

“What?”

“Keep you company,” he said, and by this point, his entire body language read _exasperation_ , directed straight at Kirito.

“Oh. Yeah, sure,” he started, before remembering, “Wait. You never answered my question.”

Eugeo’s eyebrows knit in confusion.

“Why are _you_ awake?”

Recognition took over the other’s face, before slowly being replaced by… puzzlement? He glanced as the landscape before him, exhaling. _Is he… embarrassed?_

“I… don’t know.”

_...what?_

Eugeo straightened up, elbows still on the windowsill, still facing forward.

“I’m not sure why I woke up. I just did, and felt like I needed to check up on you.”

As they were, Kirito could see his side profile perfectly, illuminated by the few rays of moonlight that splayed across his face. It dulled his colours, painted him in cold hues, flaxen hair looking whiter, green-turquoise eyes coming closer to a dusty green-blue, usually pale skin looking impossibly paler. 

He was so captivated with the way the light refracted on his face that the next time Eugeo spoke up, he nearly jumped. 

“Hey, Kirito, tell me. Do you know the constellations?” he said, watching him out of his peripheral.

_Did he?_ He knew _some_ of the constellations from the real world, but he wasn’t sure if they translated into the Underworld, or if he could even recall them correctly. He shook his head.

Eugeo raised his left hand, pointing a finger to the sky.

“Here, let me show you.”

Kirito shuffled over to him, once again finding himself with his head on the other’s shoulder (this was becoming a pattern, wasn’t it?), arms pressed up to one another, elbows resting together. 

Eugeo’s hand glided through the air, drawing invisible paths and connecting shinning stars to one another, all the while talking in a quiet voice and explaining each and every constellation. Kirito knew that he would barely remember any of them in the morning, not with the way he was paying more attention to Eugeo’s hand, his face _so_ close to Kirito’s, eyes sparkling as he recalled information upon information about whatever constellation he was talking about now, even as the late hours of the night tried to take its toll, a small smile softening his features. But Kirito hardly cared about the stars. The man next to him was far more captivating than anything the Underworld had to offer. 

He hadn’t noticed, but his thought had quieted.

Kirito found himself drifting between consciousness and unconsciousness. Somewhere, in the back of his mind, a voice told him that he should probably move from the couch and into his own bed, but he _really_ didn’t want to. He was contemplating the benefits of staying right where he was, _very_ comfortable, versus the lecture he _knew_ he would get from Eugeo, when the main door to their chambers opened.

_Speaking of him..._

There were a few moments of silence as his partner properly entered the room. He could pinpoint the exact moment he was noticed by the sigh that left the other.

“You have _got_ to be kidding me…”

Gentle, slow, careful footsteps approached him, stopping right in front of the couch. He could already see Eugeo in his mind’s eye, with his hands either on his hips or crossed over his chest, and the disapproving look on his face. Kirito continued to pretend to be asleep, because there was a _chance_ , minuscule, yes, but still _there_ , that Eugeo would leave him to his faux-slumber, soon to hopefully turn into actual slumber. 

There was the sound of rustle as clothes as Eugeo bent down (kneeled? crouched? Kirito couldn’t be sure) to get a better look at him. Keeping a straight face was proving to be more and more difficult as more time passed. 

Another sigh.

“How many times have I told you _not_ to sleep on the couch?” he mumbled, more to himself than _actually_ speaking to Kirito.

Had Kirito not been pretending to be asleep he would’ve reminded his dearest partner that there was _one_ time when Kirito returned to their dorm and found him having fallen asleep on the couch as well. _Yes_ , it might’ve been once, and _yes_ , Eugeo somehow managed to fall asleep upright (it had taken Kirito a few minutes to realize the blonde was, in fact, not conscious), but it had _happened_ , and Kirito would take it. He had, like the good friend (and perhaps a little bit, okay, more than a little bit, enamoured idiot) he was, carried Eugeo to his _actual_ bed. It had not been an easy task, because Eugeo was, in physicality, _slightly_ bigger than Kirito (maybe somewhat more than slightly, but Kirito would _not_ admit it), but he had done it.

There was a good minute or so as Eugeo just _watched_ him, and Kirito was battling against the blood that threatened to rise to his face and paint his cheeks in blotches of pink. _Why was he just staring at him?_ Is this what it was like whenever Kirito stared at Eugeo? How long was he planning to just sit there?

Finally, after what felt like the world's most awkward eternity, Eugeo got up, and walked away.

_Oh, he was leaving him alone. That was surprising._

The footsteps were headed towards the part of the chambers that housed Kirito's bedroom.

_Wait, what?_

He heard him open the door to Kirito's bedroom.

_Did he need something from there?_

Footsteps again, heading back towards Kirito’s current position, before stopping once more.

_...what was he doing?_

"Up we go."

_…pardon?_

Kirito _struggled_ , and he means he absolutely _struggled_ , not to flinch and jump as he felt one of Eugeo's arms coming up behind his knees, the other at his back.

_whatthefuck--_

His stomach dropped into the abyss, and then beyond, when Eugeo actually _picked_ him _up_ , with seemingly little to no effort.

_Here came those 7 years of everyday work to chop down the Gigas Cedar, he supposed._

His face felt _on fire_ , like lava was licking under his skin, ready to burst through his pores at any moment, and his heart was beating about four times above the speed that he thinks was normal and healthy for a human. He _feared_ , that Eugeo could hear the loud, cacophonous _thuds_ of his heart against his ribcage, hear the breaths that shuddered their way past his lungs and threatened to escape his throat, hear the ringing in Kirito's ears that was caused by all the blood surging to his head. His entire system was going into overdrive and _Stacia, if you exist, grant mercy on his soul_ because he thought he just might die.

He did not, evidently, _die_ , on their way to his bedroom, as Eugeo crossed the room _absolutely effortlessly_ while cradling Kirito to his chest like he was something precious, but he might as well have had, because _Eugeo was bridal-style carrying him to his bed_ , and he considered starting to scream, _to hell with it all_. 

He did _not_ scream, however, because that meant he would have to come face to face with the consequences, those being he’d have to explain to Eugeo that the whole time he was actually awake and Kirito could list about a few dozen other things he would rather do than have _that_ conversation. 

Eugeo crossed the threshold into his room, walked to his bed and gently, _gently_ , placed him down (the screaming was looking more and more appealing, on second thought). He then left the room and returned shortly with what Kirito presumed were his shoes, gently placing them (did he _know_ how to do anything any other way but softly?) next to his wardrobe, because of _course_ he would, he was _Eugeo_. 

Just when Kirito thought he’d be left alone to simmer and stew in a pot of his own feelings, Eugeo walked towards the bed _again_ and _tucked him in_ (for the love of everything, this man was going to actually kill Kirito; Kirito was going to die of cardiac arrest and it was all going to be Eugeo’s fault). 

His partner gingerly placed his hand on Kirito’s forehead, brushing a few stray hairs away, before moving his hand down and _softly_ patting his cheek.

“Sleep well.”

Footsteps headed towards the door, before it closed with a quiet _click_.

Kirito waited for a breath, two breaths.

Inhale. Wait. Exhale. Repeat.

He checked his pulse to make sure he hadn’t actually died of a heart attack, and was met with a rhythm mirroring the one hammering in his chest. 

Kirito was now _very sure_ of two things.

One, there was no sleeping for him, not any time soon, not after _that_.

And two, _he had it **bad**._

_Knock. Knock. Knock._

Kirito waited for a few beats. It was nearing time for them to head to the cafeteria for dinner, and usually, by this time, Eugeo would already be out in the living room making sure that _Kirito_ was ready (he supposed he _did_ have a tendency to be late for… a lot of things). But, there were just about 15 or so minutes left until 6 pm and there was no Eugeo to be seen nowhere in their shared living space. Kirito _knew_ Eugeo would be upset if they were to be late, more at himself for allowing it than at Kirito, so he came over to check. There was only one place where the blonde could have been.

His room.

That was why Kirito currently found himself outside the other’s room, listening for any sounds from within.

Nothing.

That wasn’t good.

_Knock. Knock. Knock._

“Eugeo? You in there?”

He waited for a response, for footsteps, for the sounds of shuffling, for _anything_.

Nothing, once again. 

Worry slowly crept into his heart. Eugeo was careful, he was strong, Kirito was _aware_ of that, but that did not settle the panic that wormed its way into his heart. He was probably fine. He _had_ to be fine. Kirito… wasn’t sure what he’d do if he _wasn’t_.

He _slowly_ pushed the door open, and absentmindedly thought that maybe he should’ve brought his sword, just in case there actually was an intruder in his partner’s room, but all his worry seemed to have been for nought, because there stood Eugeo, resting against the windowsill next to his bed, a few books scattered around him.

He was asleep.

_Oh._

All the tension bled out from Kirito’s body, his shoulders dropping, his arms going limp, his figure relaxing. 

Eugeo was sitting on the small seater found next to the window, sleeping peacefully and looking thoroughly relaxed. The light that was filtering through the large window ( _how could he even sleep with the light hitting his eyes?_ ) enveloped him in pure, deep _gold_ , dancing through his hair and making it seem to _sparkle_ and _glow_ , and surely, _surely_ , Kirito must’ve hit his head badly at some point during his stay in the Underworld because there was no reason for him to be feeling this breathless over seeing the way Solus bathed (his… friend? partner?) Eugeo in her warm light.

And yet here he was. 

He settled himself across from Eugeo, sitting down as well. He should probably wake him up. That’s what he came here to do in the first place, wasn’t it? To find Eugeo so they could head down to dinner?

...but nobody would blame him if he were to indulge himself a little, would they? Eugeo rarely let himself rest outside of the designated hours, let alone let anyone else see him. This was a rare occurrence.

He rested his arms on the edge of the windowsill, laid down his head sideways, looking at the other man. He looked… at peace. He had one his hands stretched outwards, palm faced downward. 

_Hm._

He raised his own hand, all the while watching the blonde next to him for any signs of movement or consciousness. Slowly, gently, _softly_ , he placed his hand under Eugeo’s.

_Silence._

A shuddering breath escaped him. He closed his eyes. Eugeo’s hand was warm. But then again, what about him _wasn’t_? His heart was thundering inside of his chest, a cacophony of erratic heartbeats that echoed all around him, silencing all other matter except for the _thud_ s that rang in his ears. For a few moments, he let himself bask in the comfort of his hand in Eugeo’s, molten adoration bleeding into his veins and spreading all throughout him.

When he opened his eyes, Eugeo was ( _thank the Goddesses_ ) still asleep. His face looked soft. Over the two years that Kirito had spent next to him, Eugeo had hardened, both in resolve and physicality. He no longer was the young woodcutter that Kirito met back in the forest in Rulid. He’s… grown. He’s lost most of the _physical_ softness, gained angles and muscle and strength and Kirito was next to him for every moment of it. It made…. _something_ take hold in his chest.

Unconsciously, he raised his other hand and gingerly placed it onto Eugeo’s cheek. His eyes dropped lower. It would be… _extremely_ easy to give in, to lean forward and press his lips to Eugeo’s. It would be _so_ easy, and yet….

_He couldn’t._

It’s not that he didn’t want to, he very much _did_ , and sometimes his heart _ached_ with a burning need that left him having difficulties breathing, but the Underworld, the Tabboo Index, they would not allow it. 

So, Kirito had made himself a promise: he would wait. He could do that. He could wait until they rescued Alice and Kirito brought Eugeo to the real world, whether he managed to acquire him a physical body or not. 

His hand glided lower, his thumb hovering over the other’s lips.

A stuttering inhale, that stuck in his throat and ached in his chest, blooming with the flowers of, for there was no better word for it, _yearning_.

He… could wait.

He hoped he could.

There was movement behind Eugeo’s eyelids.

Kirito’s own eyes widened.

_shitshitshit_

He yanked his hands like he’d been burnt, putting as much distance as he could between them. His face felt _incredulously hot_ , like burning coals resting just beneath the surface, and he was worried if his temperature had actually risen.

“Kirito?”

He did _not_ yelp, thank you very much, but he was very close to it. The newly-awakened Eugeo, at which Kirito was barely looking at in the corner of his eye, because he doesn’t think he’d be able to face him head-on even if he tried, was looking _rather_ confused, but everyone who was so suddenly awakened would.

“Eugeo! Hi.”

_Very intelligent response, Kazuto._

“What are you doing here?”

_Oh, right._

“Uh, it’s nearly dinner time. Came to check up on you.”

_That_ seemed to wake him up. Eugeo immediately straightened up, clearly flustered, looking around, taking in his surroundings, the light coming through the window, which indicated exactly what Kirito had just told him: that it was nearing 6 pm. He sat up, patting down his clothes to smooth out any wrinkles that his impromptu sleep might have caused, gathering the books that were strewn about and stacked them into a neat pile. 

“Ah, thank you for waking me,” he said. “Well then,” he turned towards Kirito and gave him a bright, albeit still flustered, smile, “Shall we go?”

Kirito nodded, and that was as much as Eugeo needed, who started heading towards the door.

Kirito’s heart was still hammering against his chest, knocking the breath out of him, but he smiled.

_Yeah, it’ll be fine._

He got up as well, catching up with his partner, throwing a hand over his shoulders, a laugh escaping him at Eugeo’s splutters of surprise.

_Yeah, he could wait._

**Author's Note:**

> thank you again to anyone who read this. if you've left kudos or a comment or just simply read this, know that i love you now. 
> 
> you can find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/sapphiim), where i never shut up, and sometimes talk about what i'm writing.
> 
> (you can also find my other yujikiri fics [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works?utf8=%E2%9C%93&commit=Sort+and+Filter&work_search%5Bsort_column%5D=revised_at&include_work_search%5Brelationship_ids%5D%5B%5D=14039024&work_search%5Bother_tag_names%5D=&work_search%5Bexcluded_tag_names%5D=&work_search%5Bcrossover%5D=&work_search%5Bcomplete%5D=&work_search%5Bwords_from%5D=&work_search%5Bwords_to%5D=&work_search%5Bdate_from%5D=&work_search%5Bdate_to%5D=&work_search%5Bquery%5D=&work_search%5Blanguage_id%5D=&user_id=sapphiim).
> 
> hope you're having a great day/evening/night!!
> 
> <3


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